Wednesday, March 20, 2002

Vacation plans...

Well, I know where I'm going this year for my annual 2-week road-trip... Las Vegas, NV (because a bunch of friends are getting together out there one weekend). Being the sick, twisted puppy, I've decided to drive the distance (hate flying). So, 2400 miles each way, 40 hrs each way of driving, open itinerary except for the turn-around in Las Vegas (I'm planning 4 nights in Las Vegas, even though everyone else is only staying 2 nights).

My guess is to start each half of the trip with 2-3 days of intense wall-to-wall driving to get a huge amount of distance covered in the shortest amount of time. Going out actually looks like 52 hrs of driving (going kinda the southern route, be coming back more directly).

Plan 1

Harrisburg PA - Pittsburg PA (4 hrs)
Pittsburg PA - St Louis MO (12 hrs)
St Louis MO - Oklahoma City OK (9 hrs)
Oklahoma City OK - Albuquerque NM (11 hrs)
Albuquerque NM - Flagstaff AZ (6 hrs)
Flagstaff AZ - Barstow CA (7 hrs)
Barstow CA - Las Vegas NV (3 hrs)

Plan 2

Thu Columbus OH (8 hrs)
Fri Springfield MO (12 hrs)
Sat Oklahoma City (4 hrs)
Sun Albuquerque NM (11 hrs)
Mon Flagstaff AZ (6 hrs)
Tue Las Vegas NV (10 hrs)

Hmm, that puts me into Vegas two days early (I want to arrive Thursday evening). Still, that gives me 2 nights to spend somewhere to break up one of those trip days. Or sightsee, or crash for a day. I plan on making hotel reservations only one day in advance for the entire trip (if that far ahead) in order to make my iterinerary as flexible as possible.

posted by Wuphon's Reach at 4:23 PM

Orc pawn’s search for enlightenment

Pawn: OMG, I’m about to die! I hope I can make it to the guards!

*An Orc Centurian has slain a blue paladin. Your faction with blue paladins has gotten worse.

Pawn: Mr. Centurian, how many players have you killed?

An Orc Centurian: Uh, can’t count that high.

Pawn: And Mr. Centurian, how many times have you been killed by players?

An Orc Centurian: Uh, number much higher. Get headache.

Pawn: Don’t you ever get tired being killed over and over?

An Orc Centurian: *shrug* It’s funner when I gots my rusty sword.

An Orc Oracle: Young Pawn, perhaps you need enlightenment?

Pawn: I light the fires every morning, that burn in front…

An Orc Oracle: no no no, you need to seek enlightenment. Go into the world, seek out new people and new civilizations, boldly go where no orc Pawn has gone before!

Pawn: Ok, as long as I don’t get any Tribbles, err. get into trouble.

….

Pawn: Mr. Wizard?

Wizard: Whatz up kid?

Pawn: I seek enlightenment.

Wizard: You want enlightenment? Wohoo! I’ll show you enlightenment! See that bunch of pokey skeletons down there, wearing them red shirts?

Pawn: Yes?

A Wizard begins to cast a spell

Pawn: They’re exploding. It’s kind of sad really.

Wizard: Yeah, but by golly look at all that light! I enlightend them up in no time flat!

Pawn: That’s not what I meant.

Wizard: You’re right young lad. When night comes, I’ll do gravify flux first, and if I can get ‘em high enough, I’ll enlighten the whole half of the zone!

*Pawn sighs

…

Pawn: Mr. Enchanter?

Enchanter: Yes lad?

Pawn: I’m seeking the secret to enlightenment.

Enchanter: Of course. I’m an enchanter – I’m a master of enlightenment. First, you kill a lot of skeletons. Mr. Wizard can help you with that part. Then you hand in all the bones to the guard over there.

Pawn: How does that lead to enlightenment?

Enchanter: Don’t interrupt me please! Then you can use spells to make them like you more, but you’ve got to do the bones first. It’s amazing how 2000 bones to a single guard can turn you from a villain to a hero for the whole city.

Pawn: I think you mean alignment.

Enchanter: What’s what you said, alignment.

Pawn: I don’t think you can help me.

Enchanter: Hey, lets’s got to Freeport so you can see me turn into a piece of dung!

…

Pawn: Mr. Rogue?

Rogue: Who’se asking?

Pawn: Me

Rogue: Me who? Tell me who sent you and you’d better answer fast.

Pawn: An orc orace?

Rogue: Ok, as long it’s not the guards… They’re getting wise. What can I do for you young urchin.

Pawn: I’m a Pawn, not an urchin, and I’m seeking enlightenment.

Rogue: I’m a master of enlightenment

Pawn: Oh, please tell me how do I become enlightened!

Rogue: Well, you don’t become enlightened; others do. You sneak up behind someone, and enlighten them of their possessions. It’s real simple like.

*Pawns sighs

Rogue: Yeah, and when you get good at here’s what you do. You go to Rathe Mountains, and tell them druids that you want to practice your, um, skills. Then while them nature lovers have them all snared and running, you enlighten the giants. I got lots of plat that way.

Pawn: I don’t think you can help me.

Rogue: Suite our self young newt.

*Rogue hides into the shadows

…

Pawn: Mr. Bard?

Bard: Hey, can you hand me that drum over there? We need levitating.

Pawn: Here you go Mr. Bard. Can you help me?

Bard: Sure thing kid… First, on the count of 3, run to the base of the statue. 1… 1 2… 2 3… 3 go!

Bard: Ok, what did you want?

Pawn: I’m seeking enlightenment

Bard: Well, you’re in luck. I’m about to do a new great feat in enlightenment, stay with me and you can be a witness to the latest and greatest feat of enlightenment! And run up her staff like this; be careful; don’t fall.

Pawn: Where are we going anyhow?

Bard: To the top of the Statue of Firiona Vie of course! There’s where you’ll see the best enlightenment demonstration on the face of Norrath!

Pawn: Wow, it’s high here on her shoulders.

Bard: Ok, this is high enough. Now, let me put on my latest gnome tinkering device, Xoxxala’s In-Line boots.

Pawn: I meant enlightenment, not “In-Line”ment.

Bard: Whatever. Here I go!

Bard: Ladies and Gentlement, boys and girls, and orc Pawns too. I’m going to do a death-defying trick, of skating down FV’s shoulders, using her voluminous chest as a ramp to send me hurling out high above the FV outpost, and hopefully clearing the docks and landing safely in the water far over there! Give me a drum roll please!

(silence)

Bard: Pawn, please tap on the statue real fast like.

*Pawn taps on the statue real fast like

Pawn: The he goes… Ack!…. Ewwwwe Oh! Ugh! He didn’t clear the land. I guess he didn’t realize that the high elf statue used the old model, not the Luclin model.

….

Pawn: Mr. Sleeper?

Warder: Shhh… Don’t wake the sleeper.

Pawn: But I’m seeking enlightenment, and he is the most powerful creature in all of Norrath.

Warder: That he is, but he needs his sleep or he gets real cranky in a big way. You’re looking for enlightenment lad?

Pawn: I am sir. I’ve asked all kinds of people, and they haven’t been able to help.

Warder: Well, that sounds like you’re asking players. Here, let me tell you about the world. There are two kinds of people in this world… players, and monsters.

Pawn: That is very profound Mr. Warder, but I’m tired of dying over and over.

Warder: Well, when player dies, he fusses and cusses, whines and moans. Then he goes back to his corpse, summons all kinds of help from clerics or necros, and spends a great deal of time and energy, just so he can keep his stuff. Have you ever seen an orc crying over his lost rusty sword?

Pawn: No sir.

Warder: Us, we’re monsters. We die, and we come back. Over and over. If we loose a rusty or sword, or primal weapon, it’s no biggie. We’ll spawn with another one.

Pawn: You’re saying don’t worry about dying?

Warder: Of course not young Pawn! Look forward to it! Because, here’s the big secret. Sometimes, when you spawn again, you’ll spawn as a whole new and more powerful creature! Think of yourself as a caterpillar that will someday spawn as a butterfly.

Pawn: Thank you Mr. Warder! That makes me feel much better. I feel truly enlightened now.

Warder: Glad I could help. An oh Pawn before you go…

Pawn: Yes Mr. Warder?

Warder: When you die, try to say something like ruining their lands or something. It makes them feel better.

Pawn: Will do! Thank you again Mr. Warder.

(found somewhere, on one of the many EQ boards)

posted by Wuphon's Reach at 11:10 AM

How to survive a big patch by cigarskunk

Swiped from the Sony message boards

OK everyone, the servers are going down tonight for an 8 hour patch. Now, anyone who's ever been through one of these patches knows that it's going to take more than 8 hours, so for those of you reading this, don't post any whines about the servers not being up 8 hours and 1 minute after the posted time.

They most likey will be down for about 12 hours, then, once they are up, 50k players are going to try to patch at once and log in, resulting in many of you being turned away from the log-in screen - this is not VI's fault - chill.

Since VI is making sweeping changes to the game, there are bound to be bugs - this means that we'll have atleast three more patches and a few emergency patches over the next week - stuff like that happens with major patches - deal with it.

Some of you will be tempted to post and say that you are being ripped off due to this patch time - the 12 hours which you won't be able to play is equal to 50 cents ($2 for Legends players) - use the free time you have to scoure the ground in parking lots for lose change - you should come out as much as 20 cents ahead if you do.

Since halflings will most likely be able to play rangers and gnomes will be able to be pallys and SKs, expect Steamfront and Misty Thicket to have about 3 dozen of each of those classes busily power leveling to see who can get one of the new race/class combos to 60th first - ignore these people - they don't have lives, but are otherwise harmless.

Finally, the servers will be up when they are up - posting rants against VI, Sony or the Republicans won't get them up any faster.

For those of you who take this advice, you will find yourself with this comodity on your hands called "free time." It can be put to many good uses - here are a few -

1) For those of you who were wondering who that other person of the opposite sex is that walks around your bind point (it's called your house) - that is your wife (if female) or husband (if male). Do not confuse this person with your ingame wife or husband - that's someone different - it would be a good idea to talk with this person, have a meal with said person and maybe even give them a few /hugs too - trust me, the payoff is great if you've still got good faction with him/her.

Go out the front door - that big, blazing ball in the sky is called "the sun." Unlike the sun which you are used to, it will stay in the sky for about 12 hours real time depending on were you are (that's something like 3 or 4 days game time just for reference). It's a rather pleasant thing to be exposed to, although be careful about staring at it too long - that's bad.

If you are under the age of 18, there's this thing that you're supposed to be going to called "school" - unless you still want to be going there at age 25 (not to be confused with college) you might want to consider reading some of the manuals that you carry too and from this place every day - there are various cheats, exploits and other things hidden within them that'll let you become a better player, but you'll only get the info you need if you read them cover to cover.

If you are the adventurous type, you can go out and explore the world around you - it's not half bad as far as worlds go and while it does tend to be a bit buggy at times, atleast it never goes down for patching and thankfully, it's never crashed on me yet.

Have fun and remember, it's only a game.

posted by Wuphon's Reach at 10:38 AM

Bumpage!

Almost ready to make some more posts... mostly just in changing the template.

posted by Wuphon's Reach at 10:22 AM