Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Pbbbbbt

(sigh) Once again, it's past midnight... and the ol' noggin still has thoughts swirling like mad. Finances, regrets, plans... the usual litany. Along with the odd-ball thought (like I wonder what Reiko-san would have said had I ever showed up and greeted her family in Japanese) tossed in for variety.

Maybe I'm getting ready to shift into a manic period? I could really use such a burst of creativity and energy right about now - got some projects on the back burners that need a high level of focus/concentration. The last one that I remember was way back at the start of the year and I usually fluctuate 3-6 times per year. However, I was taking EffexorXR back at the start of the year up until Feb/Mar, so that may have thrown things off a bit. Mmmmm, I think I had a small burst back around July 4th. August was a middling month, felt "average". It's tough to spot the trend until I'm almost a week or two into the phase - then it's a question of how long it will last before I crash back to average (sometimes below average).

It's also one of the reasons I stopped treatment back in the early spring when the pharma doc was getting ready to try me on Lithium. Thanks, but as long as my symptoms are manageable, I would much prefer not to give up those manic phases. (Mine are actually pretty tame, barely classifiable as mania, I just get a lot done and am very creative for a few weeks. It's the downslope after that's the rub.) I think I as much as told him that - or maybe I mentioned it to my therapist - but I'm pretty sure I didn't get the point across. Saa... we'll see what happens in the next week or so.

posted by Wuphon's at 12:44 AM